The Religious Afflictions

Environmental Ethics

2010-08-01T23:22:00.003+10:00

After spending the morning planting native tube stock by the Cooks River in Sydney, and tonight chatting to a friend with a budding interest in making his home and lifestyle more sustainable, I feel prompted to put together some of my thoughts about what might motivate and guide someone to care for the planet, for the natural environment.

No doubt, countless arguments and ethical frameworks have been proposed which might have successfully awakened in many people a concern for the environment and a prompted them to radical, excessive lifestyle-curbing, self-sacrificial action. Nonetheless, I believe that those convicted of a Christian worldview should be amongst those most motivated to act in world-loving ways, and that loving people, loving God and loving others (and oneself!) should all be part of the same consideration. I propose the following:

1) Mandate to rule: Biblically, humankind is special in the created order. We are indeed to “Fill the earth and subdue it” (Genesis 1 and 9), which assumes that the requisite clearing of land and taming of certain natural areas is a right and proper thing to.

2) End times: In the end, God will provide us with a new heavens and new earth. Indeed, while we suffer amongst the disease, injustices, chaos and disasters of this world, we are to long for a new home, one of perfection and righteousness, one which will match the Christ-like splendour and beauty of God's transformed people: "For the creation was subjected to futility … in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God." Romans 8:20-21

3) Our everlasting earthiness: But this new creation where we will spend eternity will be a transformed earth (in Revelation 21 God's dwelling place, the heavenly Jerusalem, comes down and settles on the earth, it doesn't remain floating up in space), actually quite similar to the one we enjoy now. We are physically-bound creatures (Jesus is physical too), and the new creation will be a physical earth where we dwell with God and God with us.

4) What motivates our behaviour: Much environmental destruction is motivated by greed and selfishness. It is worth asking how much we are supporting this by who we buy our products from. Such greed is sinful and displeasing to God, and we should be checking whether we have such greed in our hearts. Despite the sinful greed of many corporations and governments, it doesn’t necessarily make all environmental degradation sinful (as per point 1 above).

5) Individual versus corporate responsibility: We should realise that it is the government of our country which takes responsibility for many environmental policies and decisions. There are many things which, simply as individuals in our everyday lives, we can hardly hope to change. In many areas we can only have a lasting influence if we can implement changes at a political level. This political aspect, however, does not make us void of responsibility for our everyday choices.

6) The core Christian ethic: Our most profound, yet simplest, motive for environmental concern should come from Jesus' teaching (Mark 12:31): “Love your neighbour as yourself”. It begs all sorts of empathic, imaginative questions: Would I enjoy it if I couldn't grow food because all the topsoil on my farm had been eroded or destroyed due to salinisation? Would I like my children to be playing outside where there's acid rain falling? Would I like to see sea animals strangled in plastic bags washing up on the beach at my next holiday? How would it affect me if I lived on the a coastal floodplain and sea levels around the would rose 5 metres due to global warming?

7) What do you treasure?: Lastly, as someone living in an opulent, wealthy, over-fed, overweight, materalistic society, the sort of questions I feel we really need to be asking ourselves are ones like these: Am I simply living to get more and just accumulate bigger and better things? Or, instead, do I seek every day to depend on the all-sufficient God, and to joyfully put my hope in Him, the one who riches provides us with everything to enjoy? And do I live to store up treasures in heaven, by giving away my wealth, my time, my energy for the sake of others being satisfied in God?

Compelled by an ethic which truly cares for others, just as God in Christ loved us, we can be released from our ever-self-indulent lifestyles of servitude to possessions and empowered for a radical, letting-it-all-go, other-concerned, getting-hands-dirty lifelong journey of love.

The restlessness of inward affliction

2010-01-16T06:40:00.005+11:00

Silent night, Holy night,
All is calm, all is bright.

But is it so? Is it calm?

Nighttime rest, nighttime fight.

Ocean's swell all day long
Tirelessly pounding the land tonight.
Not ceasing when evening comes.
Pushed and pulled, from within and without.

Though day's ended, the mind still wanders.
All's not calm, all's not bright.
Thoughts and fears, dreams, dramas, trauma.
Plans and possibilities stir all night.

Powers lurk within the mind,
Ceaseless desires, lusts and longings,
Moving and urging the body, the heart.
The nervous system in all its workings.

What powerlessness we possess,
Since our thoughts and minds reveal,
The ever-moving conscious state,
The terrain in our fight of zeal.

In the night as in the day,
We make our choices, choose each thing.
We plan our ways, and reveal our idols.
Our thoughts exposing our rage within.

I cannot escape from being myself.
There is no off button, no pause, nor rewind.
We are forever being, growing, changing, making.
Confused and torn as our paths we find.

In my bed, unsure, depressed.
Dejected, rejected, hopeless, sour.
Pursued by the past, oppressed by the future;
We cannot avoid the phenomenon of now.

Afflicted by thought. Tonight, this night.
Resolved to go on, despite the grasping,
The battle within, the clawing forces.
Perplexed, yet assured amidst all the pounding.

Bending and breaking me,
Refining me like fire.
The inward struggles are purposed,
According to the Designer's desire.

These inward afflictions are here for a while.
But ultimately short-lived, considering all things.
Soon indeed they will be replaced by bliss.
We await a home where every angel sings.

Soon shall pass these momentary pains:
Life's array of troubles, struggles and pressure.
Then to all it will be revealed,
The nature of our heart's true treasure.

Our new life begins as with the morning.
True rest begins as at high tide.
So we'll enter into eternal joy,
Pleasured forevermore at God's side.

Gone will be the dark of night:
The raging depths of unexplained fear,
And painful pains of life in the world.
The restfulness of New Earth comes near.

Yet still now we struggle, hour by hour.
We search and labour, yearn and fight.
Dangers surround and shame gnaws at us,
So we live and long in the night.

Humanistic values in Christian thought

2009-10-04T21:33:00.003+11:00

Loving self, loving others, loving God.

Christian humanism seeks to consider the unique, psycho-socio-emotional reality of human individuals in light of divine truth as revealed in the writings of the Bible and as demonstrated in the life of Jesus Christ. Christian humanism values input from human learning as well as the Bible. Christian humanism maintains the centrality and supremacy of God in all things, but recognises that the Biblical message of God's grace, forgiveness and acceptance of humanity should lead us to be gracious, forgiving and accepting towards one another. Specifically, Christian humanism seeks to correct any distorted representations of Christianity as a cold, rigid orthodoxy which disregards or minimises the uniqueness and preciousness of human individuals. Most critically, Christian humanism emphasises that God's glory is at stake in our understanding of ourselves and in our love for one another.

The New Testament writer John said:
We love because God first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
- 1 John 4:19-21 (NIV)

An introduction to Christian humanism:

1) Each one of us needs to feel the weightiness of the reality of God, not just intellectually know factual information about God. A Christian should not content himself or herself with a zeal for words, ideas, quotes, strategies and truths, without being inwardly moved and melted by them.

2) Each one of us needs to be moved at the reality of our broken relationship with God and the terrible consequences that our autonomous rebellion has brought. We should tremble at the horrors of what humans are capable of and the hellish suffering and injustices of life in this world.

3) Each one of us needs to be overwhelmed in the comfort of knowing that he or she is loved, valued and treasured by God: to experience the lavish grace, kindness and outflowing mercy that comes through Jesus Christ.

4) Each one of us needs to rejoice at knowing that his or her identity in Christ is as a member of God's family: a participant in the happy community of worshippers, a part of the bride belonging to the Lamb.

5) Each one of us needs to journey on the experience of contentment in his or her individuality and uniqueness. A Christian can rest satisfied in his or her gender, race, appearance, body shape, mental capacity, gifting, weaknesses and struggles, unique accumulation of experiences (both pleasant and painful) from life, no matter how others evaluate these things. The pressure to impress God is off.

6) Each one of us needs to remind himself or herself to deeply value himself or herself, precisely because God values us. Knowing God's tender, fatherly heart (e.g. the father in the parable of Luke 15), we can learn to accept ourselves in spite of our imperfections.

7) Just as God accepts, loves and, in Christ, rejoices over each individual, so each one of us needs to learn to accept others, in their imperfections, knowing that we will all, one day, be creatures of infinite glory, or of infinite horror:

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people.

- C.S. Lewis "The Weight of Glory".

8) Each one of us needs to remember that God will one day call us to account for how we treated the lowliest, most disregarded of people in society:

"[When Jesus comes in his glory, those who have been faithful to him will ask:] 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
Jesus will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

From Matthew 25:37-40

9) Ultimately, each one of us needs to know he or she has a responsibility to respond to what he/she knows and live towards God and towards others in accordance with his/her abilities and life situation. This responsibility is unique to each person, and God will not ask of us more than we can provide: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked." - Luke 12:48, NIV

A prayer at my grandfather's funeral - 30th June 2009

2009-08-03T21:20:00.003+10:00

Heavenly Father,

We lift up to you our thanks for Dudley's life. We thank you for his life of love; his caring concern for his family, friends and neighbours; and his service for his country. He was an example of tenderness, humility and patience; a quiet, hard working man, full of practical wisdom. We especially praise you for his quiet faith and reverence of you; your ways guiding his life. We give thanks that so many of his family and friends can gather this day, to remember, celebrate and mourn together.

Father, you have shown yourself to us in your Son, He who is the way into your presence, where there is fullness of joy forevermore. Thank you for sending Jesus amongst us, to live as one of us, to die on our behalf, to rise victorious from the grave, and to ascend to your side; from where he will return to bring those who are your people to be with you.

We long and look forward to this future of rejoicing and glory; to enter into your presence, to dwell in our new home; a home of righteousness, peace and celebration; a great city and beautiful country. Death and mourning will be done away with; and finally we will know true security, safety and everlasting joy.

Appearing rather than being

2009-06-01T14:09:00.007+10:00

Why is it that we spend so much energy trying to appear acceptable before others?

It is my suspicion that, like me, many people are constantly wearing themselves out - mentally, physically and financially - in an effort to maintain a façade of "togetherness" in others' eyes. In countless ways - a stylish appearance, non-eccentric behaviour, refined and witty speech, expressions of "normal" emotions - we strive to appear acceptable, often at the expense of being consistent with who we really are.

There are behaviours which we label normal, and others abnormal. At the everyday level, there are "correct" times to smile and ways to display affection, and "right" things to wear such that we gain approval, esteem and regard. Disturbingly, we may indeed pay more attention and labour more intensely to get people to think well of us than we do to actually being true to who we are.

What's more, it is often the people who we don't know or who don't care about us that we try most to impress. This is perhaps because those who know us well will be more understanding if we are poorly presently, have bad breath or say inappropriate things around them. Because they know the whole package of who we are - our ways and habits - those close to us are usually more lenient and reasonable in assessing us and signalling their judgment of us. Also, since we are more likely to know the imperfections and vulnerability of those close to us, we are mutually sympathetic in the knowledge that neither can be consistent and flawless.

Of course, we are emotional creatures; complex, confused, multi-faceted, multi-layered, full of surprises - even to ourselves. Though we often express a desire for those around us to be predictable and perfectly consistent, ultimately we would not really want anyone to be a cardboard cut-out.

Sadly, nonetheless, there seems to be a great compulsion - in me at least - to hide from others those aspects of ourselves which we perceive to be unusual, strange, unrefined, unkempt, irrational, unacceptable. As a result, we are constantly on the alert for behaviours from ourselves which might elicit a negative response from others: I am on guard, on edge, wary, distrusting, uptight and hardened towards those who might see, ogle, critique and disapprove.

Are we that bad? Am I that ugly, strange, depraved, shocking? I would say, no, not when it comes to most of the things I try to hide from others. I am simply trying to protect myself from perceived threats of criticism and disapproval, which weigh so heavily on my heart. My self-protection is disproportionate to the reality of the woundedness that others' can do to me. I hide too much because others' opinions matter too much.

My head fears God, but my heart fears man, because there is discord between my emotional belief and my rational belief. I experience this disharmony because every day I fall short of experiencing the love that God has for us. How I long to know and experience in my heart as well as my head that God's approval and acceptance is all that matters! How I rejoice whenever I can move closer to a congruent inner state as I live out this life, working through my own mess, reading God's word and experiencing his goodness in the company of others on this journey.

[I]n my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
- Romans 7:22-25, NIV

"Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing" - Healing through mourning

2009-04-12T13:52:00.007+10:00

"This light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, ESV)

Reading Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child for the second time, there are some interesting applications for the possibilities of healing for the emotionally wounded adult. Basically, Miller is saying that:
We will be constantly prone to using others as a means to meeting our own emotional needs to be respected/ admired/ understood UNLESS we are in the constant process of mourning.

On page 21 she writes: "Only the never-ending work of mourning can help us from lapsing into the illusion that we have found the parent we once urgently needed."
This statement gives a very realistic picture of the process of healing; there is no quick fix or miraculous easy way out. Since the emotional pain is so deeply stored within us, the only path towards healing will be one with much re-living, re-experiencing and re-visiting of that pain.

This idea seems to me to reflect the experience of the apostle Paul's life, which is simultaneously one of pain AND joy: "sorrowful, yet always rejoicing." (2 Corinthians 6:10). In life joy is ever-mingled with sorrow, and no pleasure is experienced long before some frustration creeps in. Highs are followed by lows. Happy moments are followed by anxiety, threats and insecurities. We live in a world where brokenness and suffering abounds, whether in work, play, marriage, sex, parenting or sports. Nevertheless it is the Christian life which CAN boast of real, exceeding joy; the sweet security of hope, victory, rest and ultimate triumph in the very midst of great pain, suffering and evil. "Trials refine our faith... Suffering produces hope... Suffering makes us depend on God, who raises the dead..."

It is my suspicion - my theory - that the emotional and repressed sorrows of my own life - buried within me waiting to be dug up - are serving as fuel for my eternal joy. By my re-visiting and re-experiencing all the pain within me since childhood, and by finding ultimately in God the strength to face, endure and overcome this pain, God will be doing in me a precious and mighty work, "preparing in [me] an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." (2 Corinthians 4:17).

Ironically, perhaps, though fittingly in God's purposes, my intention to help others through counselling has begun in me a lifelong "working through" process. It has opened up the inner treasure-troves of my own suffering, setting me on the path of slow-but-steady, painful-yet-glad, progressive, never-to-be-fully-realised-until-the-glory-of-heaven healing of mourning.

Is violence the will of God? - Movie reflections

2009-02-15T20:14:00.004+11:00

With its ambitious title and impressive array of actors, Kingdom of Heaven parades itself as an adventure of grand proportion and a landmark event for the portrayal of religious history. In the midst of the horrendously realistic scenes of slaughter and death, as well as the pride and pomp of short-lived glory and moments of romance, a surprisingly unexpected theme that permeates this movie is ‘the will of God’.

These are some of the questions which I felt the movie raised. I propose some responses straight out of the New Testament.

1. Is it possible to find true forgiveness, whether in Jerusalem or elsewhere?

Jesus said to her, ”Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father… the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.” John 4:21, 23

2. Is the grace of God, His providential favour, able to be found or secured?

God… has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. Ephesians 1:3

3. Is it ever possible to be assured of one’s place in heaven?

As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the Son of Man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life. John 3:14-15

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end. Hebrews 3:14

4. Should Christians ever use force to achieve the purposes of God?

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19

The one who is in authority… is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Romans 13:3-4

5. Can we ever expect the kingdom of heaven (harmonious living between people and the rightness of men’s hearts towards God) to be achieved in Jerusalem or anywhere else on the current earth?

Now Hagar is Mount Sinai in Arabia; she corresponds to the present Jerusalem, for she is in slavery with her children. But the Jerusalem above is free, and she is our mother. Galatians 4:25-26

But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. Hebrews 12:22-24

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Rev. 21:1-4

God glorified through our afflictions

2009-01-11T13:15:00.004+11:00

This morning's sermon was very helpful in connecting the experience of affliction and the edification of others. Psalm 119:74-75 says:

May those who fear you rejoice when they see me,
for I have put my hope in your word.
I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous,
and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.

It was pointed out that it is IN the very moment of our suffering, vulnerability and the depths of our despair that we can often be most encouraging, God-honouring and helpful to others. I think it has to do with faith (dependence, need) in God - since God is most glorified in us when we come to Him needing Him most. It is a deeply heartfelt, longing faith; a tear-filled faith; a yearning for better days.

This seems to me to be one of the paradoxes of the Christian life, that in our moments of suffering, lowness and brokenness we are most helpful to those around us, since we are least relying on ourselves, and most relying on Him. Sounds to me very much like the apostle Paul:

"this [experiencing the sentence of death] happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead." (2 Cor. 1:9)

Relationally, it seems to ring true that we connect best with others and encourage them more deeply when we ourselves are vulnerable, broken, and "soft". If we confront someone without first truly being vulnerable ourselves, then they will more often simply be defensive and not reminded of the all-sufficiency, kindness and generosity of God.

The parable of a rich young renter

2009-01-06T23:15:00.005+11:00

A certain young man found himself financially well-positioned (largely thanks to Centrelink), despite the global economic crisis. Remarkably, in light of the tight rental market, he was granted a rental property ahead of many other enthusiastic renters. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? This is too easy. I can secure for myself practically any property I choose.'

Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will forget about others, concentrate on preparing a 10-year forecast on my rental payments, and then I will never have to worry about the rental market again. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of bathrooms, walk-in-robes and garden space laid up for many years. Take life easy; lie back in your hammock with a cool beer and be merry." '

But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get the so-called secured future which you planned?'

This is how it will be with anyone who yearns for earthly property, but does not long for God's lavish, spacious home of the new Earth.

Knowing, yet not knowing

2008-12-02T22:39:00.004+11:00

Heroic playground acrobatics, enthusiastic icecream licking, carefree cuddles on the couch, holding mum's hand as we walk along the path...

Tears fill my eyes and the computer screen blurs. Saturation point is reached and the drops break forth, running down my cheeks and being absorbed into my shirt.

I am crying at pictures of the most beautiful and precious thing in the world to me right now: my children. I do not cry out of sadness directly. The children have not died or fallen ill. No, they are healthy and safe, strong and able. I do not cry because they have been taken away or are about to be taken from me. Though one day this will happen, it is not this I fear right now.

I am crying, I think, over the sadness that it is to not feel the joy that it is to behold them. I intellectually understand the enormous joy that these bubbas are to me, but I do not deeply feel it emotionally. There is but a trickle of joy from my cognitive understanding down into my heart. I know, but I do not really know.

Basically, I wish that I felt greater joy over their existence, their preciousness, their uniqueness, their worth under God. Most of the time, I do not feel this. I take their presence for granted, or, worse, get annoyed by their demands. I long for their beauty and preciousness to come over me and fill me with wondrous joy.

This overwhelming sense of sadness at non-experienced emotion is very confusing. Am I unemotional, or am I highly emotional? I have often thought of myself as not a particularly emotional person, but it is becoming clearer to me that it mightn't be this simple. Indeed, I hope it isn't - I would very much like to experience greater emotional connectedness. Why is it that emotions only hit me at certain times, like late in the evening when the kids are in bed and I have time to pour over photos of them?

I think I am learning that my emotional "highs" are most often experienced as emotional "lows". The most beautiful, deepest, purest emotional experiences for me seem to be found in the moments of greatest sadness, since it is in those moments that things become the clearest and weightiest. This seems to line up with the idea that we learn most about life from our darkest moments.

Self-love & Self-hatred - Part 3 - I need you, just as you need me

2008-11-28T21:49:00.002+11:00

What I long for, desire and need is your full acceptance of me. I need you to take me seriously and not to judge me as soon as you’ve gathered a few facts about me. I am more complex than you might expect. There are many layers to me that I long to reveal to you, if you would only let me. When I share with you my problems, I am not looking for quick-fix answers, for advice, for solutions. I want to know that you understand me, or are at least trying to, and that you appreciate and rejoice in my complexity and confusion at that moment. Please do not preach at me! I already know the right thing to do. I’m not turning to you for informational support, but for emotional support. No matter how accurate and clear your heroic persuasion is, forcing beliefs down my throat will only close me down and make me shrivel up.

Please seek to attune yourself to my deeper pains and hidden joys. I long to be invited to communicate the message of my emotional self to you. I need your genuine empathy and sincere tenderness towards me as a vulnerable and fragile human being. I am a whole person, not simply an object towards which you might spurt your advice. I long to consider you a dear friend, not as some know-it-all against whom I must keep up my guard. There are more than enough people in this world who are willing to tell me how to live. Oh, that, in your being, you would communicate the message that spending time on me is worthwhile, that I am valuable and interesting simply because I was created and exist and have essence and being.

I am a gift to you and you are a gift to me in ways that we have only tasted but a fraction. It is not arrogance to say that I am a gift to you, or neediness to say you are a gift to me. Your ideas, suggestions, behaviour, style, motivations, directions, dreams, aspirations, goals – your existence – are to me a precious treasure and unique contribution to my life, no matter how different, “wrong”, distasteful, obnoxious, ugly and unwanted these contributions are. They are valuable – you are valuable – to me because your experience is real and unrepeatable in the history of the universe. We each exist in infinitely and incalculably unique ways.

Self-love & Self-hatred - Part 2 - I want to hide from you because I do not love myself

2008-11-23T21:32:00.003+11:00

I feel that I have only just begun to discover what it means to be truly alive, to be truly connected to myself and to others, truly open to the fullness of human experience, bodily emotions and existence in this world in my relationship to others.

I have realised that my problem for many years and even still now has been a deep sense of unhappiness about myself, a doubting about my worth and validity to anyone. I have previously thought I am too selfish, too self-consumed, too greedy, but, frighteningly, far beneath this layer of selfishness, I have discovered that, in fact, I do not love myself enough. I do not feel valuable. I do not believe that you will deem me to be worth investing your time in.

Rather than being at ease with myself and accepting myself in your presence, I fear you and the very real possibility of your rejection and disapproval. I feel that I must do something to gain your approval and acceptance. I do not feel at ease with myself around you. I am on edge and nervous, terrified that I won’t live up to your expectations. I am constantly in debt. I feel I must do something to re-balance the scales, to prove to you that I am deserving of your time and effort. Yet I never feel that the scales are equal. There is a void in me, a doubt, that can never be quite filled up. Though I come close to feeling at ease with you, I never quite arrive, and inequality and distance remain in the relationship.

We spend the rest of our lives trying to escape the pain of failure through various coping mechanisms. Or we try to assume an appearance that will please others and gain us loving acceptance. We give up on being ourselves and try to be someone else, someone who will be worthy of recognition and love.

The Secret of Staying in Love by John Powell, 1974, Tabor Publishing, p. 27

This fear of not getting the acceptance from you that I so deeply feel I need changes my behaviour and manner around you. I cannot relax or ever fully let my guard down. I am cautious about what I say around you, lest my thoughts and feelings displease you. I will not cope well if you disagree with me, reject me or do not affirm me fully.

Self-love & Self-hatred - Part 1 - I long to feel deep emotions

2008-11-20T12:42:00.001+11:00

God has been revealing to me the truth that to love others, ultimately I must love myself.

If I really want to love others with the genuineness and emotional intensity modelled by God the Father and by Christ, then I need to have a heart big enough and open enough to experience the worth of others with tremendous intensity. I must be capable of profound sadness and exuberant joy. I need to feel that human life is infinitely precious, that your worth is unimaginable, that experiencing you is a priceless gift. But experiencing you this way is dependent on my experiencing of myself. If I cannot accept and love myself, as part of this gift of human existence, then I will deny the possibility that you will be any of these things to me.

If you are not precious to me, because I am not precious to anyone, I will demean you and dismiss you as unimportant. I will be tempted to deride you and humiliate you and turn you into an opportunity to make me feel better. I will use you. If you are not precious to me, then you can be my tool in blocking out the thought that I might not be worthwhile. I will use the echo of your praise to reassure myself that my fears about my self-worth couldn’t possibly be true. You will help me to silence that deepest part of me which timidly screams out for me to give it love.

A baby is born into this world life a living question searching for answers. Who am I? What am I worth? ... If his parents are unable or unwilling to express affection, if they are cold and matter-of-fact, the infant will in his own way absorb these facts... recorded forever in the human organism of the child... He is recording his own emotional responses of doubt, anxiety and insecurity. They will play back to him for the rest of his life... Most of us were offered “conditional” love. Your worth is not in yourself, but in something else... A child who has been taught his lessons by having love turned on and off eventually concludes that his sole worth and goodness lie in his ability to fulfil the needs wishes of others... One can only fail, and in failure be deprived of love... This, of course, leads to self-hatred, whether consciously admitted or not. And this self-hatred is the beginning of a sad and self-destructive life....

The Secret of Staying in Love by John Powell, 1974, Tabor Publishing, pp. 19-21

Refining trials perfect our precious faith - 1 Peter 1:3-9 - part 2

2008-10-15T01:16:00.005+11:00

1 Peter 1:3-9 is a God-ward celebration (v.3) of the God-kept secure (v.4) and overwhelmingly glorious hope (v.8) of the Christian believer.

I think what I find most startling is where it says that suffering (v.6) has been ordained by God as a perfecting, refining tool for the sake of our eternal good (v.7).

In my mind, it is amazing that God would work in our lives through evil to prevent us from living lives as sham Christians! What a challenging, but fresh and liberating way of viewing the suffering in our lives! With each trial, obstacle and frustration, God is shaping us, rebuking us, preparing us for eternal purposes. We were made for another world, not this one. We are "strangers in the world", backpackers momentarily in transit as we await our new home, a permanent country, a city with the firmest of foundations.

This truth about the refining purposes of this like is summed up in others parts of the Bible such as in 2 Corinthians 4:17: "this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison". Here afflictions are purposed by God to prepare or ready us for the glory of life on the New Earth. They serve to alert us to the unsatisfactory and temporary nature of this world, and to direct us to our permanent - yet unseen - heavenly home, where we will be deeply and everlastingly satisfied.

This is the reality of the born again believer who has a new heart, new spirit, new allegiance, new existence into eternity...

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!
In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope...

The blog of my life - 1 Peter 1:3-9 - part 1

2008-10-15T00:22:00.005+11:00

My favourite chunk of the Bible is 1 Peter 1:3-9. I memorised this paragraph 8 years ago by writing it verse by verse on TravelTen bus tickets.

Each time I caught the bus and dipped the ticket, I would glance at the verse written there and add it to the string of other verses I had already committed to memory. In this way, it took less than 2 months to memorise the whole chuck of verses 3-9 (approx. 1 ticket/week). I learnt it in the New International Version, a version which I think expresses this passage very nicely.

Basically, I see this passage as a meditation on the great joy that it is to be a believer in Christ. A fitting introduction to this first letter of Peter, these 7 verses present several powerfully reassuring and beautifully poetic angles on the truth of the reality of a hope-of-heaven-lived life. These verses fill out the manifold layers of reasons why we should praise God (v.3).

I would like to spend a few blogs meditating on this passage since it is so dear to my heart. These 7 verses have proven to be a great treasure chest of encouragement to me over these past 8 years. They continue to remind me of the necessity of having a heavenly-minded perspective, a God-ward life, a heart which seeks joy in eternal rewards and crowns of glory rather than simply earthly circumstances.

May I encourage you to join Peter in our great privilege and duty, saying: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!

Is love in marriage not affectionate feeling?

2008-09-16T11:50:00.006+10:00

I recently attended a wedding where the following C.S. Lewis quote was printed in large print on first page of the outline:

Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

Emphasising this quote signals to me that commitment and sacrifice in marriage (though essential to marriage) are to be set over and against love as an enjoyable desire or spontaneous feeling. Why is it that these two things - commitment and heartfelt desire - cannot exist alongside each other in a marriage? In my mind, setting these 2 things in contrast to each other creates a misleading, damaging and unbiblical dichotomy.

I believe that marriage is grounded on pleasurable, highly affectionate feelings AND on the wish for your wife or husband's "ultimate good". This is because, in marriage (and other relationships), these two things are one. Or at least we should strive for them to be one.

If husbands are to be Christ-like, according to Ephesians 5, they are to be totally hedonistic! "Christ loved the church... so that he might present the church to himself in splendour... that she might be holy and without blemish." (Eph. 5:25-27, ESV, emphasis added) Did Christ have no affectionate feeling for the church as he died for her? Was her "ultimate good" of no interest to himself? This passage tells us that Christ died to present himself with a beautiful bride. Though at great cost to himself, Christ was seeking the ultimate good of the bride AND his own heart's delight: the joy of a people who forever would praise his name. This is confirmed in passages such as Hebrews 12:2: "for the joy that was set before him [Jesus] endured the cross".

Applying this further, Paul commands husbands to make delighting in their wives as their own bodies the central aim in marriage. This is a husband's challenge in marriage: to so experience and pursue the one flesh reality that his wife's holiness and happiness on the last day would be his delight: "He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church." (Eph. 5:28-29, ESV)

This is the challenge for us husbands: to so have kingdom eyes, fixed on eternal treasures, that seeking your wife's holy beauty would be the most pleasurable experience of your heart! It is the daily fight of faith. It is a lifelong struggle and constant battle against worldliness and fleshly lusts. This is why, I believe, people like C.S. Lewis are right to point out that love is more than a naive, simplistic feeling (since these come and go as quickly as the eyes of our hearts are distracted earth-ward). Love in marriage, however, is not less than such feelings.

Indeed, loving and leading your wife (and others) is hard work. It requires great self-denial, commitment and discipline. We will fail every day (though we should not aim to). This, I believe, is why we need to talk about the ultimate aim and goal and purpose of marriage (and of all human relationships and existence). We need to work at connecting every thing we do now to the impact or fruit it will have in eternity. We need to be like Paul who lived for the reward of seeing his church standing firm in the faith. We need to set our hearts on things above and set our hope fully on the grace to be revealed. We need to desperately plead for God to open the eyes of our hearts to help us know the riches of the inheritance that awaits us! We need to be more heavenly-minded in our relationships, not less.

Therefore, we must nurture our feelings, not dismiss them or ignore them. We are bodily, emotional beings. The vast majority of everyday decisions are made out of our 'gut', not out of prolonged reflection. If we try to straightjacket ourselves into obedience, rather than letting God work on what's in our hearts, it will only lead us to feeling squashed, hurting others, and at some point falling in a heap. Conformity to God's will is an ongoing, often slow, process. Denying who we are as individuals is not the meaning of self denial.

After initially feeling frustrated with this C.S. Lewis quote, I looked it up in context to see what he originally mean by it. Not surprisingly, Lewis did not say this in reference to marriage. Instead, he made this statement in reference to why Christians should support the idea of killing someone in war!! Of course affectionate feelings are not the main part of this type of "love". How often do people take things out of context to suit their own feelings...

I suspect if one reads Lewis on other topics (e.g. 'A Word about Praising' in Reflections on the Psalms), they will find that C.S. Lewis believed that spontaneous affectionate feelings were a healthy, essential part of our relationships - with God, with friends, enemies and even (or especially) with lovers! Please correct me if I'm wrong. I haven't read The Four Loves yet.

Light and darkness, honesty and deceit

2008-09-01T13:02:00.006+10:00

I just read 1 John 1-3 this morning and considered the link between living in darkness and living deceitfully.

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:5-7, ESV)

Summary:
a) In God there is no darkness at all.
b) We cannot walk in darkness AND also have true fellowship with Him.
c) Forgiveness is available only to those who walk in the light.

What if we consider one aspect of a life lived in darkness as a life lived deceitfully and a life lived in the light as one lived genuinely?

It would read:
a) In God there is nothing fake at all.
b) We cannot be fake and also have true fellowship with Him.
c) Forgiveness is available only to those who are genuine and honest about themselves.

Consider this quote from the Journal of Biblical Counseling:
In a sense, deceit can be understood as an attempt to divide the inner and outer man artificially. Deceit entails presenting oneself on the outside in a way that veils the intentions of oneself on the inside. The unity of man is a reflection of God in His essential unity. God cannot be divided against Himself, and therefore, cannot lie or be a hypocrite. (Smith, W., 2000, 'Dichotomy or Trichotomy? How the Doctrine of Man Shapes the Treatment of Depression', JBC, Vol. 18, no. 3)

God is genuine, authentic, true, real, honest, light. He does not fear others because He is confident/unashamed of Himself. Rather, He knows His worth and value are exceedingly great.
Many of us, on the other hand, can feel embarrassed, ashamed, fake, and deceitful in our relationships. We desire to hide things about ourselves and present ourselves in a way that receives the approval and appreciation of significant others in our lives. We try to impress, rather than simply be authentic, genuine, broken, weak. We are wounded and unwilling to admit it. As Nouwen wrote:

The main concern then becomes not who I am but who I am considered to be, not what I think, but what others think of me... we find ourselves operating in terms of power, motivated by fear. We are armed to the teeth, carefully following the movements of the other, waiting to hit back at the right moment and in the vulnerable spot... All this leaves us with the suspicion that the reality which we call "love" is nothing other than a blanket to cover the real fact that a man and a woman conquer each other in a long, subtle skirmish of taking movements in which one is always the winner who manipulates the other in the patterns of his or her life.

The only answer deep enough to rescue us from this deceit-filled living, as Nouwen points out, is the truth that we are first loved by God, accepted in spite of our weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and enabled to overcome the fear of being hurt and laughed at by others. John says:
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God...There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:7, 18-19, ESV)

In Nouwen's word:
What else does this mean besides the redeeming revelation that love is a possibility? Perhaps the best definition of revelation is the uncovering of the truth that it is safe to love... It is safe to embrace in vulnerability because we both find ourselves in loving hands. It is safe to be available because someone has told us that we stand on solid ground... We are not surrounded by darkness but by light... Love then is not a clinging to each other in the fear of an oncoming disaster but an encounter in a freedom that allows for the creation of new life... Jesus who in the exposure of his total vulnerability broke through the chains of death and found his life by losing it. He challenges us to break through the circle of our imprisonment. He challenges us to face our fellow man without fear and to enter with Him in the fellowship of the weak, knowing that it will not bring destruction but creation, new energy, new life, and-in the end-a new world... [Jesus'] exposure of his total vulnerability broke through the chains of death and found his life by losing it. He challenges us to break through the circle of our imprisonment. He challenges us to face our fellow man without fear and to enter with Him in the fellowship of the weak, knowing that it will not bring destruction but creation, new energy, new life, and-in the end-a new world.

These are wonderfully liberating, but challenging, applications of the truth of God's love for sinners.

Self-acceptance, intimacy and the fellowship of the weak

2008-08-30T19:09:00.008+10:00

In preparation for a Pastoral Care/Counselling class presentation on intimacy issues in marriage, I have been reading Henri Nouwen's Intimacy, published in 1969 (his first publication).

Nouwen reflects on the experience of some where Christian teaching is felt as an impossible call to be perfect, one that leaves people feeling guilty and wanting to hide and deny our blemishes: "Very often religion has become identified with cleanliness, purity, the perfect life - and every feeling which seems to throw black spots on our white sheet seems to be antireligious". (1969, Harper & Row, San Fransisco, p.14)

He calls his reader to respond not by repressing this awareness of imperfection, but rather to accept it:

"It is very difficult for each of us to believe in Christ's words, "I did not come to call the virtuous, but sinners...." Perhaps no psychologist has stressed the need of self-acceptance as the way to self-realisation so much as Carl Jung. For Jung, self-realisation meant the integration of the shadow. It is the growing ability to allow the dark side of our personality into our awareness and thus prevent a one-sided life in which only that which is presentable to the outside world is considered as a real part of ourselves. To come to an inner unity, totality and wholeness, every part of our self should be accepted and integrated." (p.15)

Nouwen sees this refusal to accept ourselves as we are as stemming from the many ways in which we are not accepted by our parents, peers and society:

"Knowing someone’s past can be the most lethal weapon in human relationships, which can bring about shame, guilt, moral and even physical death... We are judged, evaluated, tested, and graded, diagnosed and classified from the time our parents compared our first walk with a little neighbour’s. Gradually, as time goes on, we realise that our permanent record is building its own life, independent of ours... The main concern then becomes not who I am but who I am considered to be, not what I think, but what others think of me." (pp.25-26)

The solution to the fear of not finding acceptance with others, for Nouwen, is to be so secure in the ultimate relationship with God, whose perfect love casts out such fear (1 John 4:18), that we are enabled to be truthful, available and vulnerable to others in our weaknesses:

"Love first of all is truthful. In the fellowship of the weak the truth creates the unshakable base on which we feel free to move. Truth means primarily the full acceptance of our basic human condition, which says that no man has power over any other man." (p.30)

Nouwen goes on to describe how truthful living, secured and enabled by God's love, expresses itself in the most intimate of human relationships:

"Table and bed are the two places of intimacy where love can manifest itself in weakness. In love men and women take off all the forms of power, embracing each other in total disarmament. The nakedness of their body is only a symbol of total vulnerability and availability. When the physical encounter of men and women in the intimate act of intercourse is not an expression of their total availability to each other, the creative fellowship of the weak is not yet reached." (p.31)

Lastly (for now), Nouwen reflects on Christianity as a whole:

"The core message of Christianity is exactly this message of the possibility of transcending the taking [advantage of others] form of human existence. The main witness of this message is Jesus who in the exposure of his total vulnerability broke through the chains of death and found his life by losing it. He challenges us to break through the circle of our imprisonment. He challenges us to face our fellow man without fear and to enter with Him in the fellowship of the weak, knowing that it will not bring destruction but creation, new energy, new life, and-in the end-a new world." (p.37)

Our wedding vows - 14th August 2004

2008-08-23T23:03:00.006+10:00

Having just entered our 5th year of marriage, Emily and I have revisited the promises we have made to each other, and have been reminded of the serious privilege and awesome responsibility it is to be a Christ-representing husband and church-representing wife. As the Book of Common Prayer says, "[marriage] is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, like brute beasts that have no understanding; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained."

I Stephen take you Emily to be my wife,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
As your husband, I will love you and lead you as Christ does the church:
I will pursue abounding delight in you,
I will make your holiness and your happiness in God
my highest joy under God,
I will protect you and nourish you as my own body,
I will seek your help as my wife,
as together we seek to bring pleasure and praise to God.
To you I pledge to keep these promises,
until we are parted by death, or until Jesus returns.

I Emily take you Stephen to be my husband,
to have and to hold, from this day forward,
for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.
As your wife, I will submit to you as the church does to Christ:
I will pursue abounding delight in you,
I will rejoice to promote your usefulness and your happiness in God,
I will respect you and entrust myself to your responsibility
for our relationship,
I will seek and support your leadership as my husband,
as together we seek to bring pleasure and praise to God.
To you I pledge to keep these promises,
until we are parted by death, or until Jesus returns.

A Marriage made in Heaven

2008-08-23T22:51:00.004+10:00

This is an extract from my wedding sermon, which I gave at our wedding on the 14th August 2004.

Thank you everyone for coming this morning to be part of our special day! Emily and I are thrilled and honoured that so many of you could come and share the day with us.

Thank you so much for your kindness and generosity to us in so many practical and thoughtful ways. We really have felt honoured and supported as we start our married life together. But please continue to encourage us and support us now that we are married.

I know that relationships aren’t always smooth sailing – especially marriage. I know there will be a lot to learn about each other and a lot to adjust to and grow in as we live as a married couple together.

It is said that marriage is a lot of hard work. And in the society we live in today it seems that marriage has been deemed out-dated and old-fashioned.

That begs the question… What is going to sustain us in our marriage? How do we expect to keep on track? What will give us the reason to love each other, and to be patient and understanding of each other, when sick or tired?

It seems to me that the thing that will sustain us in our marriage is our vision of the marriage that all marriages are meant to point to: that is the marriage of Jesus Christ to His people for all eternity in heaven.

I know that God had in mind, before the creation of the whole world, to unite His Son, Jesus Christ, with His people in complete happiness and for all eternity. And so God created human marriages to reflect this and depict it millions and billions of times over the world – to make a point about the truly happy, glorious wedding feast and party that heaven is going to be.

What Emily and I will be looking to in our marriage, is that true, awesome, perfect marriage – the marriage made in heaven – between Jesus and His people.

It will be our passion for that day – our vision and expectation and longing for that day when those who follow and worship Jesus are gathered to him in perfect glee forever – that will keep us on track in our marriage for the rest of our time on earth.

The Bible talks a lot about how awesome being part of that great wedding day will be. I want to share with you a passage that paints a picture of how amazing that day will be:

Revelation 21:1-11 (ESV)

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new." Also he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death." Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, "Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb." And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great, high mountain, and showed me the holy city Jerusalem coming down out of heaven from God, having the glory of God, its radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal.

Did you notice what it is this passage is describing?

- A wedding day, the bride is the new city where God’s people are
- The groom at this wedding is the Lamb: Jesus Christ
- When the world ends, God will make a new place for His people to live
- The Bride will be beautiful and glorious
- Only those who belong to Jesus will enter the city

Jesus’ great joy was to present to himself a glorious and precious gathering of people. This city of God’s people is beautiful. What a wonderful task he had to rescue us from our folly. To make millions and millions of people holy and happy. But it cost him his life. The Bible says that:

“Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might make her holy, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendour.”

What excites me most about my marriage to Emily is this – to be there with her on that last day. I look forward to entering the new city of God’s rescued people, gloriously changed and washed clean from our dirty ways, and to share the jubilation of being one of the many, many people who have lived their lives for Jesus.

What sustained Jesus as he received the lashings, as he was humiliated and beaten and as he was nailed to the cross to hang up in the air to suffocate to death – was his joy in pleasing His Father in heaven and rescuing for himself followers from all nations on earth – to present to himself a church without any stain or any other blemish – people gathering around his throne, joyfully praising and worshipping him.

For me, as the husband, my joy will be seeing Emily there, part of that church – that great party in heaven. I have the awesome responsibility of keeping my promise to love her and give my life up for her – to take care of her and responsibility for her as my own body – just as Jesus did for his people. What a task! But what a joy! What a privilege it is that I have.

Emily and I are both so excited about life together – sharing a new house, starting a new family, and so on. But we’re even more excited about the ongoing party it’s going to be with Jesus and everyone else who follows him.

I know the food today at the reception is going to be awesome – the caterers will have supplied I’m sure a gastronomic delight. But I know that heaven is going to be an everlasting banquet feast and celebration. If anyone could make a party great, it would be the man Jesus Christ. See, it is Jesus who created the whole expanse of galaxies and planets and stars at the flick of his little finger. And if Jesus could turn water into 1st class Cordon-Bleu Bordeaux wine with one command, then I know he can really make eternity wonderful beyond imagination! I’m looking forward to him being the life of the party!

Emily and I want to invite you to be there at that great feast, the party that heaven is going to be. We’re so thrilled that you’re here today and you’ve accepted our invitation to share this wonderful day with us – but we’ll be so much more thrilled to see you there on that great marriage day in heaven.

I know many people here are looking forward to the feast of heaven, but if you haven’t yet already, then please join the party!

A brother broken by his Godless affections

2008-07-15T16:35:00.007+10:00

I just got off the phone to a broken and humbly self-aware brother. As he poured out his laments and cries to me, I was filled with a sense of the reality of God and how far short we constantly measure up in our Christian lives. Let me share some of his thoughts:

The Christian church must focus on two things: 1) Our afflictions and suffering, and 2) God's glory.... from now on, no more trivial conversations... no more talking about meaningless stuff... we're playing games... we live in the best country... we are filled to the brim with head knowledge... our heads are big because we think we know stuff but our hearts are empty... Love God and love his people.... I will... I will deny myself... I will delight in God, when I have so much to rejoice in... I have treated girls like dirt. I have not treated them as the daughters of God, created in His image. They have been my idols. My attention has been on worldly things... not on heavenly things... My life is a joke...

Plus some passages to contemplate:

Even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. So you too should be glad and rejoice with me. - Philippians 2:17-18

I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. - Colossians 1:24-27

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. - 2 Corinthians 4:10-11

Power to flee porn in the Psalms

2008-07-15T09:11:00.008+10:00

Turning on the computer is a dangerous activity! With incredible download speeds and sexually explicit material everywhere, checking email or reading a blog risks an easy plunge into the passions of destructive lust.

Where do these images and videos come from? Who is responsible for their pervasive presence? They are set up by men who want to enslave others for financial gain and to justify their own enslavement to such lusts.

Having just read Psalm 140, an application point that came to mind applies to the fight against porn and the fact that we need rescuing from such people whenever we go online:

v1-2 Rescue me, LORD, from evil men. Keep me safe from violent men who plan evil in their hearts.
v4 Protect me, LORD, from the clutches of the wicked. Keep me safe from violent men who plan to make me stumble.

These lustful enslaved enslavers aim to make other men stumble and become addicted to pornography. It is the pleasure of their hearts and the means to their financial prosperity.

While we long and pray that God will not "let them achieve their goals" (v.8), we can look to God who "upholds the just cause of the poor [and] justice for the needy." God stands against the evils of the porn industry. We also ought to stand against it, knowing that, ultimately, God will bring it to nothing and punish those who love evil.

Next, over the page, we could read Psalm 142 as the cry of someone longing for God's protection and power to be resuced (from those who want to make you enslaved to lust):

I cry aloud to the LORD; I plead aloud to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before Him; I reveal my trouble to Him.
Although my spirit is weak within me, You know my way.
Along this path I travel they have hidden a trap for me.
Look to the right and see: no one stands up for me; there is no refuge for me; no one cares about me.
I cry to You, LORD; I say, "You are my shelter, my portion in the land of the living."
Listen to my cry, for I am very weak.
Rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.
Free me from prison so that I can praise Your name.
The righteous will gather around me because You deal generously with me.

May God be pleased to rescue the weak who are emprisoned by the powerful clutches of pornography, so that they can praise his name again!

Lastly, Psalm 51 recounts David's contrition and confidence in God after giving in to the lust of the eyes leading to adultery and murder. As pointed out by John Piper in a recent sermon, it is interesting to note what it is that David looks to as his solution for such lusts. It is not simply to have greater accountability with others or controls set up on his computer. Deeper than all this, David knows that the greatest power and protection against sin of any kind is an experience of pleasure in God which outdoes the experience of pleasure in porn: Restore the joy of Your salvation to me, and give me a willing spirit. (v.12)

Indeed, let us seek God in the fight against porn like David did!

Restore to us, O God, a surpassing satisfaction and contentment in your goodness and riches of glory and your promises to work in all things for our disciplined good and ultimate joy!

Empathic dysfunction and 1 Corinthians 13

2008-06-16T01:00:00.000+10:00

Have you ever wondered why some people are amazingly - sometimes overwhelmingly - attuned to others' emotions, while others seem untouched by the sadness and despair surrounding them? Is such a contrast normal and healthy? How much empathy is enough, and is there such a thing as too much?

Recently reflection on 1 Corinthians 13 has made me consider the importance of empathy, since Paul's understanding of love implies a deep, heartfelt concern for others and the truth about God. It involves much more than simply rehearsing philanthropic actions: "If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing... [Love] rejoices with the truth" (v3,6 - NIV). So I ask myself: If empathy is crucial for genuine love, then how does the Holy Spirit work in those whose psychological composition means they can't empathise?

Those with autism, schizophrenia and other personality disorders in which empathy is lacking would at times find the type of love described in 1 Corinthians 13 deeply challenging. A failure to empathise with others will mean not only socially discourteous behaviour, but an inability to recognise and meet the needs of others in their moment-by-moment experience of life's ups and downs.

I don't believe that redefining love as an emotionless benevolence is a Biblically valid option even in these cases. I believe that God is perfectly just, as well as gracious. He will demand of us according to what he has given (Luke 12:48, Matt 25:29). It would seemingly follow that those with psychological impairment and emotional scars God will not require emotional engagement to the same degree. But we cannot presume on God's graciousness.

Christians are called to a life of love. Enabled by the security of our riches in heaven, we are called into a life of empathetic loving sacrifice. "Freely you have received, freely give" (Matt 10:8). Yet, even as we struggle now with half-hearted empathy for others, let us remember that in the new world our resurrection bodies will be perfected in every way, so that we will heartily rejoice in the glorious truth about God to which we will be truly attuned!

Nouwen's humbling example of heavenly-minded joy

2008-06-12T10:56:00.000+10:00

Henri Nouwen dedicated the last decade of his life to a community of seriously disabled people, where he spent hours a day washing, feeding and caring for them. Despite Nouwen's prolific writing career and popularity, only in this period did Nouwen sense that he had truly found contentment in the love of God.

Nouwen's life in these years is a wonderful model of heavenly reward-seeking, since doing your works of righteousness before those who can neither acknowledge nor repay you means that you must truly rely on a God who gives the reward of everlasting joy in others (1 Thess 2:19-20) as a fruit of ministry in this life.

Nouwen saw his relationship of "selfless" love for Adam [a young retarded man] as a true blessing in his life, as well, no doubt, as a glory and joy in the age to come. As Nouwen said: "I am not giving up anything. It is I, not Adam, who gets the main benefit from our friendship."

Philip Yancey's article recounts this extremely moving and humbling story.

Christians counselling - my reflections on "By What Authority?"

2008-06-10T23:35:00.000+10:00

In his article By What Authority?, Doug Sotheren addresses the question of how people perceive Christian authority and the complicated position that Christian counsellors find themselves in. As a Christian who affirms the authority of the Bible, I found this article both challenging and refreshing, since Sotheren’s position releases the Christian counsellor from having to be totally theologically "figured out", yet affirms the crucial role that a living relationship with God plays in the counsellor’s life and therapy work.

Nevertheless, my initial reading of this article made me somewhat frustrated. I was uncomfortable reading the exhortation that Christian counsellors should not make it their aim to proclaim Biblical truth to their clients. What's more, I sense a false dichotomy in the assertion that: "Counselling is not so much concerned with eternal salvation as with developing positive mortal living." (p.2) In my opinion, the most important aspect of positive mortal living is knowing and affirming that we exist to know God and glorify Him eternally. While counsellors are not preachers, surely no Christian should demote this core reality of life.

Sotheren’s observation is that many people seek Christian counsellors as authoritative soothsayers rather than helpers in the process in which clients take responsibility for change in their lives. This has challenged me to think about the role I wish to have as a counsellor. I confess there is something appealing and empowering about being consulted as an authoritative expert. I have begun to embrace Sotheren’s view that a counsellor’s faith will foster a richer, more authentic counselling process when it is not explicitly featured, but affirmed implicitly through the immanence of the encounter.

Sotheren agrees that counselling will sometimes involve open sharing of Biblical truths, but anticipates that this will not happen the majority of the time. Indeed, he critiques those who "need to make their faith explicit within the interview situation are more likely to be responding to their own sense of insecurity and need for control rather than the client's need." (p.3) A strong opinion. But true? Probably.

Practically, what might Sotheren's view of authority in the counselling setting look like? It would involve having the Bible handy for when the client invites a Biblical discussion, but not plonking it in the middle of the room so that it disrupts the therapeutic process for the client.

How might this apply in everyday contexts and relationships? For starters, it would mean reassessing whether we truly embrace people's individuality, or if we simply see them as opportunities to show off our Biblical knowledge.

Don't waste your Caesar!

2008-06-03T11:50:00.000+10:00

God has ordained for some babies to be brought into the world via Caesarean-section delivery. Why has He done this? Is it a blessing or a curse? Here is a humble attempt to help us see that you are to count your Caesarean a blessing from God, or you will waste it.

1. Count your Caesarean a reminder of the blessing that your child is. You have a physical reminder for when you’re not with her. It can also be shared with your husband as you remember the birth and your child.
Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (Psalm 127:3)

2. Count your Caesarean an opportunity to marvel and thank God for the skill and technology of modern medicine. In previous generations, the child or mother may have otherwise suffered or died in such circumstances.

3. Count your Caesarean an educational illustration. When your child is older you can show her where she came from and share the joys of points 1 and 2 above.

4. Count your Caesarean a grace from God that you can still wear a bikini or underwear without it being seen (rather than in the past, where the scar dominated your torso)!

5. Count your Caesarean a grace from God TO HUMBLE YOU as you are made to realise that ALL THINGS are in His sovereign control, despite our efforts to plan our lives and minimise the risks.
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

6. Count your Caesarean a reminder of the precious scars that Jesus still wears in his glorious new resurrection body. His blood flowed for you to give you life, hope and everlasting joy in His presence from scars like this!

Empathic presence in the life of Henri Nouwen

2008-05-27T18:08:00.000+10:00

I'm currently working on an essay about the writings of Henri Nouwen, the Christian spiritualist, priest, psychologist and prolific writer who died in 1996. I'm reading about him in Wounded Prophet, a biography by Michael Ford (Darton, Longman and Todd, 1999). I just came across an account of Henri's visit to a family who had recently lost their 20 year old son. The story recounted is all about empathic presence - the ability to be sensitively attuned to another's feelings. As I read, the words in the text that stood out to me were:

He didn't solve any problems, but he didn't have to. He was just with us in a special way... There was a trust there, and it was a trust that held... I can't remember Henri giving us advice - but he was one of the few Christians who realised that he helped most by being there and listening. He didn't feel he had to teach us anything particularly - although he taught us a great deal. (p.60)

This incident reveals a quality for which Nouwen was much admired: empathy. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. To moralise, advise, or preach in times of suffering seems to communicate lack of understanding. The timely ability to show understanding by simply being there is a great gift to those around us.

Of course, this story does not portray the whole sum of Christian comfort in times of grief. Rather, it assumes that a lot has been said and taught about God, His sovereignty, suffering, salvation, eternity, and so on, which is why little needs to be said at this time. We should teach the truth about God's sovereignty over and through evil before suffering comes, since afterwards it probably won't sink in as easily.

All other sins a man commits are outside his body - Part 2

2008-05-21T10:43:00.000+10:00

As I did some thinking last night, my mind raced back to those intriguing words of 1 Corinthians 6:18: Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. (NIV) What does this mean? Is this somehow the answer to my questions about chapter 10?

My thought is that there is something particularly "deep", permanent, or psychologically transforming about sexual sin, in a way that other sins are not. Not only does this type of sin have greater consequences for the intimate relationship with your husband or wife, who owns your body (7:4), I suspect it also has something to do with how we relate to God. I get this idea from my reflections on 1 Corinthians 10:7-8, as well as from the next verses in the passage:

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

God owns us. Our body - our sex organs - belongs to God. He created us for His glory, for His honour. So when we don't use our bodies as we should, we are using our bodies as a place for idolatry. The problem is not so much that we are disobeying rules, but that we are allowing other 'gods' to come into the space where God dwells. This seems to be Paul's argument from verses 18-20. To me, this seems to fit with the jealousy of God appearing in chapter 10:22. Sexual sin leads to idolatry because in sexually giving ourselves up to another, unlawful one-flesh union, we must throw God out of His rightful place in our rule. God created us to be exclusively devoted to Him, and since sexuality is such a deep reality, it seems that sexual sin impacts deeper on us, pushing God out in a more powerful way than other sins... Perhaps this accounts for why Solomon was lead astray by his many foreign wives, rather than the vast wealth he enjoyed? Though in Jesus' teaching, the love of possessions seems a bigger threat to our allegiance to God, like in Matthew 6:24, or in Paul's teaching in 1 Timothy 6.

All other sins a man commits are outside his body - Part 1

2008-05-21T09:41:00.000+10:00

Recently I've been looking at 1 Corinthians 10 and reflecting on the relationship between sexual immorality and idolatry. The question I have found myself asking myself is, while the focus and the application of this passage is about avoiding idolatry (v.7, 14, 19), why - when Paul gives examples from Israel's history - does he focus on the behaviour of sexual immorality, rather than the seemingly more sinful activity of idol worship?

Is sexual immorality somehow worse than worshipping idols? Is sexual immorality idolatry? Or is there some sort of connection between these 2 activities such that sexual immorality and idolatry always go hand-in-hand?

Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: "The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in pagan revelry." [Exodus 32 - the golden calf] We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did—and in one day twenty-three thousand of them died. [Numbers 25]
- 1 Cor. 10:7-8 (NIV)

The previous verse (v.6) tells us that the punishments that occurred to Israel are meant to keep us from following their example: Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.

So, I ask myself, which one is it? Are we to avoid idols, or is sexual immorality the big danger?

I turned to K. Erik Thoennes' Godly Jealousy (Christian Focus, 2005), which helped me understand the link to idolatry in the Numbers 25 reference: "Moabite worship of Baal-Peor involved the prostitution of virgins and therefore 'idolatry and fornication were in that case inseparable' (Harold Mare, First Corinthians, EBC, 1986)." He also suggests that the "indulg[ing] in pagan revelry" or "play" (ESV) of v.7 might indicate improper sexual activity at the so-called Lord's Supper.

Considering the whole text, I realise the clear emphasis is a warning against idolatry: "Flee from idolatry." (v.7) The concluding remark in this section reveals that it is particularly idolatry that God hates. He is jealous to alone be worshipped , reverenced and trusted: Are we trying to arouse the Lord's jealousy? Are we stronger than he? (v.22) Yet I pondered further why sexual immorality features so centrally in this exhortation against idolatry.

I realised there is another passage earlier in Paul's letter which discusses the problem of sexual immorality, in chapter 6. I thought this passage might help me see how sexual immorality is connected to idolatry in another way: Is there something about sexual immorality which is particularly powerful in leading us away from God to idols? What effect does sexual immorality have on the human heart which might make us flee from God, and cling to idols?

Culture - 2 - Turn off the TV!

2008-03-28T14:45:00.000+11:00

Here is my one concrete thought so far for rescuing our families from the negative influences of the greater Australian culture - Turn the TV off. This may sound backward, legalistic and simplistic, but it may be a starting point for those of us struggling to take a stand against the tide of God-less cultural poison.

Where is the one place you can actually find refuge from the advertising, the salesmen, the billboards, the glossy allures for a promised land of materialistic happiness? It should be our homes, the place where, at least in theory, the family can rest and refresh itself in its own 'culture' of God-honouring, Biblically-shaped values. The problem of God-void materialistic values of Australian culture is not improved on by hiding away and living our God-ignoring values of our own. We need to love God together, as families. We need to spend time reading and meditating on His Word as families. As a father, I need to cultivate an environment where God is the central Value and the Aroma of our everyday lives. This is the desired goal of the Biblical family and the Biblical home.

So, what does TV have to do with all this? The answer is simply that TV so easily brings into the home a flavour of triviality, worldliness, God-belittling-ness. It hypes up the meaningless and makes us think we need to buy things we simply don't. TV gives us an itch that, when scratched, gets itchier and itchier, and never has has enough. TV takes our minds (and our families' minds) away from God and his Word in powerful culturally-seductive ways.

Is TV evil? No, it's us that is the problem, not TV. Turning off the TV won't necessarily create a more God-centred values in your home/family. But TV is simply a powerful channel for bringing God-void values into our families, right in the centre of our homes, and distracting us from the main goal of life, by filling up our lives with interesting and "important" things which give us an itch to start scratching.

TV is one of many powerful cultural forces, but it seems to still prevail as the most distracting and destructive. So, start today, and turn it off.

Culture - 1 - "culture" VS family

2008-03-28T14:09:00.000+11:00

We speak of the influences of culture on our formation, the shaping of our opinions, worldview and values. We also often speak about the influence that our upbringing and family has had in shaping us. Both are important. But how do they intersect? And how should Christian parents raise their children in light of the cultural realities surrounding us in Australia?

As a parent, I've been asking myself how we should balance family and culture in our thinking. Is one stronger than the other? Is "Australian culture" such a powerful reality that no family teachings can withstand it? Or are family values so deep-rooted and close to our hearts that they will endure any cultural influence? How do you raise your children to love and cherish and long for heavenly treasures, instead of buying into the Australian dream?

My 2 small children are already impacted, and will soon be confronted head-on, by the powerful workings of our culture. In the next years of parenting, do I really expect to be able to inoculate them against the grasping claws of a insatiably materialistic society? Where does the responsibility to lead and protect our children from such forces end? At what point does wise, loving concern become anxious, distrusting and unhealthy control?

Right now, I don't think I can really know the answer to these questions. I don't think knowing the 'right' answer is the most important thing. But I think the most important thing is to keep asking them. Keep assessing and addressing my responsibilities. Keep reflecting on and refining the vision.

Why am I studying psychology?

2008-02-26T17:27:00.000+11:00

I've started my Psychology degree!! Well, it's actually a GDSocS - Graduate Diploma of Social Sciences for 2 years, followed by Honours year in Psychology. On top of 3 subjects a semester, I'm doing a Graduate Diploma in Christian Counselling! It looks like the 2 courses are going to work somewhat hand-in-hand. Counselling being far more practical and interesting at the moment.

So far in the Intro to Psych lectures, we've learnt that it isn't having an over-bearing mother that gives you schizophrenia. That's good news for some people!

I've also learnt that studying statistical definitions is like learning the vocabulary of another language - a dead one, like Latin, which you'll never use in a real conversation!

Why am I studying psychology?

It seems that the Bible has a lot to say about psychology – people, what motivates them, their longings, etc. Yet the Bible and psychology are often seen as independent, even in competition. So it seems to me that an integration of Biblical and psychological knowledge is a good thing.

The Bible may be all we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), but God has given us a growing wealth of knowledge of human sciences to apply where the Bible doesn’t speak so definitely. God created brains, and we can glorify God in a greater knowledge and appreciation of the organism that He has made us!

Also, there is much good to be done as informed Christian reach out to a messy, hurting world, offering the truth of psychological science which is guided and guarded by Biblical wisdom.

Christmas - 3

2007-12-24T00:42:00.000+11:00

Cuteness - part 2

The account of Jesus' birth in Matthew 2 doesn't end with a peaceful baby asleep on his mother's lap. It ends with a shocking episode of senseless violence and an expression of the reality of evil that lies within man's heart:

"Herod was furious and gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under".

"Run through with the spear every child you find who is yet able to escape on it's own. - Stop at nothing to get this child. Spare no one: not even an over-protective parent. My authority won't be challenged by any man, woman or infant."

This is definitely NOT a cute story. It's generally not included in the children's Christmas books or on the Christmas cards we send to our loved ones.

Why did the birth of God cost the lives of dozens of little babies and life-long distress to their parents? Surely God could have prevented such slaughter?

Were the mothers and fathers aware of glorious salvation that this event marked would eventually come 33 years later? Did they see beyond the horror of evil men like Herod to the hand of the sovereign God of the universe? Did they entrust themselves and the vindication of their dead babies to the Almighty? Or did they simply say: "Curse God and die"?

Dare we ask such questions? I think we can, and should. Indeed, we must ask such questions, and already do.

Let us consider Job, whose suffering, reflection and eye-opening experience of God lead him to conclude: "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Job 42:3, NIV

Beyond the cute, the immediate and the safe lies God's great plan for the world. To the Christmas eye looking for all things cute, this plan is far from appealing. God's plan in sending Jesus was not cuteness and safety and triviality. Jesus said: "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." Matthew 10:34, NIV. Jesus' radical teaching would eventually end up getting him killed - just as he predicted (like Stephen the first Christian martyr, and tens of thousands since then).

The news of Jesus Christ is a wonderful thing. The torture and crucifixion and resurrection of Christ 31 or so years after this slaughter of babies are "wonderful things" - but they are not things too wonderful for us to know; God has privileged us to know the purpose of his ways - even his purpose in pain, evil and suffering.

Christmas is a time to remember God's purpose in suffering and evil, and God's unrelenting anger against a world that loves life and family and cuteness more than him. His Spirit is hotly jealous and will not contend forever with our adulterous idolatry.

Christmas - 2

2007-12-23T23:51:00.000+11:00

A reflection on Christmas cuteness

"Oh, that's so cute!"
"That's adorable."
"You're so thoughtful."

What is the meaning of Christmas? The answer, it seems, is CUTENESS.

If it's cute, it fits Christmas. Your Christmas gift fits the Christmas requirements if it's:

--> sweet
--> little
--> special
--> novel
--> cute

Thus incense kits; hand-made cards; miniature succulent gardens; exclusive all-natural body soaps; animated online musical Christmas greetings - all cute.

Jesus the baby is cute - he's sweet, little, special, novel, CUTE - and therefore acceptable. I suspect this is why the Christian element at Christmas is still so popular. Christian carols are still mainstream. "Hark! The herald angels sing: Glory to the newborn king!" Jesus the baby is not threatening or offensive. He's little and sweet and tender and gentle. Everyone loves this cute Jesus. Even other religions don't seem to get too upset with the birth of Christ. It's good because it's cute.

Come Easter, however, Jesus Christ will have lost his appeal. The cross is not so cute. In fact, it's the antithesis of cute. The cross is the definition of ugly. Jesus will not feature at the centre of Easter scenes or even on many Easter cards. That's why they had to invent the bunny and eggs and chocolate hunts. The cross is far from cute: the cross confronts, chokes up, critiques, condemns, challenges us, crushes us. For those who reflect for even a moment about the meaning of the cross - or who've seen Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ - there is no trace of cuteness in it at all.

...his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness...
Isaiah 52:14, NIV

...He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Isaiah 53:2-3, NIV

So, let's marvel and rejoice and hark and hum at the news of the virgin birth of Jesus Christ. But let's keep reading the whole story. The story of a great, powerful, glorious, all-wise and all-satisfying Saviour God. Cuteness is nice, but it's God that we really need at Christmas.

A Prayer - 2

2007-12-23T23:46:00.000+11:00

Prayed 23rd December '07 - World Christmas service - Asian Bible Church

Our Heavenly Father,

In Australia we are blessed in so many ways – there is always plenty of food, good access to medical and health services, and we live in a society where it is generally safe to live out our lives. All these blessings are workings of your kindness and grace.

So please may we not take these things for granted. It is easy to grow proud and self-reliant in our resource-abundant land. May those of us who are Christians in Australia show that our joy and treasure is in you, Father, by the way we use our resources for kingdom purposes and for the sake of others less fortunate than ourselves. Please keep us from the love of money and self-confident arrogance. Our lives are but a mist, which vanishes in a second. Please give us eyes to see the true value of heavenly beauty and glory, so that our hope and faith in you is unshakeable. Make our lives glorify you, letting our light shines before men through our kindness and love.

Finally, we pray for our newly-elected Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and the Australian government. Please guide these men and women in the truth of your word to make wise decisions for the Australian people. The Proverbs tell us that the heart of a king is like a watercourse in your hand; you direct it as you please. (21:1) So, in your sovereignty, please guide and guard the Australian leadership so that they might continue to allow us to live peaceful and quiet lives, so that we can work at living in a godly and Christ-like way.

We pray this in your Son’s great name and for the sake of your global glory,

Amen

A Prayer - 1

2007-12-23T23:41:00.000+11:00

Penned on 1st May 07

Father in heaven,

you have given us this day. One day for every man, woman and child. One day x 6 billion people. 6 billion days, today.

How will these 6 billion days be used?

Will they be lived earnestly, deeply and passionately, seeking for and longing to see more of the radiance of the beams of the glory of God? Or will they be wasted?

What reflection of reality will each of us portray to the world? A God-honouring portrayal? A Biblical doing all-to-the-glory-of-God reflection, or a grotesque distortion of the glory with which we have been bestowed?

You have taught us in Psalm 8 that you created man as a glorious ruler - the pinnacle and head of the creation. From what a height we have fallen!

To what depths of depravity and darkness we have plunged! All of us are part of this. All of us responsible. All of us entangled and affected by the mess of sin!

Christmas - 1

2007-12-20T19:27:00.000+11:00

Should we, like Jesus, be naughty this Christmas?

Christmas songs rightly draw our attention to the glorious truth of Jesus' incarnation. He came into the world just like us all, born as a baby. But if Jesus is fully human, did he really refrain from crying, as Away in a Manger suggests?:

"The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes"

It seems unlikely, unhealthy and probably impossible that a newborn not cry. I think the lyrics here have more to do with antiquated views of what children should be like than faithfulness to the reality of Christ's humanity.

The story in Luke 2 of Jesus as a 12-year-old boy (verses 41-52) gives us some interesting insight into his nature as God-man. After visiting Jerusalem with his family, Jesus intentionally stays behind while Mum and Dad travel home with the rest of the relatives. I don't think it's because he is unaware of them leaving that he tarries to chat with the teachers in the temple grounds.

When they finally find him, his parents are understandably "in great distress" (v. 48) after not having seen him for 3 or 4 days. We don't know the tone of their voices as they rebuked their son: "Son, why have you treated us so?", but can guess they weren't the slightest bit impressed. Jesus disobeyed his parents because he "had to" be in his Father's house. His disobedience is implied by the fact that only later did he became submissive to them.

As I ponder this snippet from Jesus' childhood, I can't help wondering if this is simply but one of many occasions when he went against his parents' wishes, tarrying in prayer, Bible-reading, or theological discussions. His habits of withdrawal from public in order to pray may indicate this.

Jesus was naughty in his parents' eyes, but he saw this as a necessity, given who his Father is and the importance of the things he had to discuss and learn from the Jewish teachers.

It follows that there are going to be times when allegiance to and priority for God will involve displeasing or frustrating those who have expectations of us. (eg. Acts 5:29) But these frustrations will not simply be issues of black-and-white sins like lying or evangelising.

Parents, siblings, friends, co-workers, church family and others rightly expect certain things, and we must meet our obligations and keep our promises. However, each of us have our individual relationships with God, our own needs for prayer, our own styles of discussing and needs to talk certain things through.

Are we surprised that we sometimes ruffle each other's feathers by our differing priorities? Do we worry too much about displeasing others with 'annoying' habits like spending too much time in Bible reading and prayer? Is our concern for 'peace' between family members so great that we'll bend over backwards to please them, compromising on any Christian priority?

Personally, I feel convicted of my sin of people-pleasing, worrying more about what those in my household or my office think of me than what God thinks of me.

It's true that the motive is important: Jesus warns us against doing things to be seen by men (Mt. 6:1), but we will often have to do our good works in front of others. Particularly at these times will we have to be on our guard for the purity of our motives.

This year at Christmas, this event from Jesus' childhood reminds us that not everyone's idea of obedience is the same, and that this isn't necessarily wrong. I don't mean that truth is relative, but that we need to be understanding of one another as we live out lives before God. Priorities for how to spend Christmas Day, who to invite to dinner, how much to spend and what to talk about might be things to consider and to be gracious in.

However, these might also be areas in which to lead the family in new, challenging and God-exalting ways - prioritising Bible-reading during Christmas celebrations, encouraging prayerfulness and reflection on God's goodness and provision, inviting the poor and the unpopular to dinner, or exchanging gifts that help the needy and spread the good news of great joy for all the people!

Your naughty example might be just what others need, and, like for Jesus' mother (v. 52), might lead them to treasure up the priorities of a God-centred life in their hearts.

J-O-Y 3

2007-12-10T13:14:00.000+11:00

So far I have said that joy is not simply about prioritising Jesus-Others-Yourself in our concerns. My criticism has been that such an acronym may cause false thinking about what it means to put Jesus first. I have tried to show that putting Jesus before ourselves is actually the best thing for us. It is better because we were created for Him, not for ourselves. Christian joy needn't require us to choose to love Jesus, and to not love ourselves. My argument is that to love Jesus is the best way to love ourselves, and thus to be self-loving, not ultimately self-less.

So, what, then, is joy?

It is about putting Jesus at the centre of your life - where he belongs.
In putting him at the centre you will experience the best thing you possibly can for yourself.
You will be putting yourself "first", because you will be doing the best thing for yourself that you possibly can. You will begin to see the world aright: to know that we exist not for ourselves and for this life where we cannot see God, but that we exist for Him who made us to live forever in ever-perfected glory and intimacy and joy.

When God changes us to make us start living with Him at the centre of our lives, we will begin to experience but a taste of a glimpse of what true joy is like. Joy in this life is far from what we will experience when God lives with us on the new earth.

The joy we experience now is more of a longing - a yearning - for a joy that we know and can begin to imagine. It is a "joy of faith" (Philippians 1:25, KJV). A future-oriented rest in the goodness and glory of God. Paul describes this joy as a joy "in the hope of the glory of God". A joy that is therefore refined and increased by sufferings, rather than decreased. (see Romans 5:2-4)

What is joy?

Christian joy is a deep satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
It is a meditation on the glory of God and Christ.
It is a being filled up with and a being caught up in the glorious future of life with God.

"Though you have not seen him [Jesus], you love him.Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
(1 Peter 1:8-9, ESV)

So Christian joy does involve an element of self-forgetting, as we focus on another. But this is only for our good: to be freed from navel-gazing, as it were, and to released to spend the rest of our days star-gazing, and waiting to be taken up to visit the vast realms of the universe prepared by our Creator, for his glory.

A Jesus-centred life is the best thing for ourselves and the most loving way to live before others - including them in the great goal of life: to be satisfied in God as we meditate on his glory and wait for the fullness of this experience to come.

God's love - 2 - Christmas news of great joy

2007-12-10T12:17:00.000+11:00

The Christmas angel brought the shepherds, "good news of great joy that will be for all the people." (Luke 2:10, NIV)

What is the good news (the gospel) that we celebrate at Christmas?
What is the connection between the gospel events proclaimed and the feelings of joy in the hearer?

The church will herald many great truths this Christmas. And rightly so.

The forgiveness of sins.
The atoning sacrifice of the Christ.
Redemption from sin.
Rescue from hell.
Eternal security in heaven.

Despite their glorious necessity in the utterance of the gospel, none of these things is necessarily good on its own. Take, for example, forgiveness. Forgiveness is not necessarily good news. You can have your sins forgiven but if being in relationship with God is unpleasant, boring or tedious, then forgiveness is not good news. It is impossible to feel the gospel as news which brings great joy if spending eternity with the God that we have been reconciled to is boring.

For the gospel to be good news, it must terminate on and bring us to that which is truly good. For God to be truly loving, the love of God must terminate on that which is good. If we are serious about honouring God in our thinking and speaking about love and our explaining and preaching about love, the good of the gospel must be understood and presented so as to uphold biblically the good of the gospel.

It is not enough to present vague notions of “being saved” when it is not clear what salvation is from and what we are saved for. It dishonours God when we come to Him only to escape hell or only to be with our loved ones in heaven. It profoundly degrades the glory of God to only “have faith” because the Bible says we should. God is deeply jealous that we understand salvation rightly. He has given us a whole book to help us do this, the Bible, to have the correct perspective.

So now the question becomes:
“What, biblically, is the good of the gospel?”,
“What is the good that we might praise God for, such that He is honoured rightly?"
At Christmas, "What is the good news of great joy that will be for all the people?"

God's love - 1 - Why do we praise him?

2007-12-10T12:15:00.000+11:00

Why do we praise Him? Why do we bow down and worship this King?

I have often pondered about God's love and what makes the gospel of Jesus Christ crucified such good news. An important passage as we contemplate God's love is 1 John 4:

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:7-12 (NIV)

God loved us. How? God sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Jesus died for us. Why? To absorb God’s wrath for our sins and to give us forgiveness.

If someone asks us to define love, we look to the cross. We look at Christ given for sinners. Love is about the sacrifice he made at Calvary – the pure, faultless Son of God slain for guilty undeserving sinners by the mercy and grace of God. We know that Christ’s atoning sacrifice has paid for our sins, that we might freely be accepted before God, forgiven, redeemed and rescued from God’s wrath and everlasting punishment in hell. And so this is the basis for our praise of God. We praise his love for us on the basis of Christ crucified (and resurrected). That’s why we praise him, that’s why we sing, that’s bow down and worship this King. ‘Cos he gave his everything.

God’s love is shown by his sacrifice – so gloriously true! In love God predestined us for adoption through Jesus Christ - Ephesians 1:4-5 - so absolutely true – Romans 5:8! John 3:16! Ephesians 5:25!

But so often it stops there. But we mustn’t stop there, we cannot stop there. We fail to define love rightly if it stops there. We fail to honour God if we stop there. So the question I ask myself, is what is the good of the gospel which makes the gospel GOOD news?

God's purposes in bad marriages - 1

2007-12-04T10:13:00.000+11:00

"My marriage isn't glorifying to God"
"My wife and I don't honour each other as we should"

Is this a good support for divorce?
Are these "Godly" reasons to encourage ending a relationship which is falling short of what it is meant to be - a representation of the union between Christ and his church?
Recently, I was left to ponder these questions after a discussion on the topic of divorce.

My aim is not to give support or condemnation for the ending of a particular marriage, but rather to reflect on what marriage is about - and therefore what bad marriages are about.

Quoting the Creator (cf. Mt 19:4) in Genesis 2, Paul teaches us that human marriage is about Christ and the church: ""For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."
(Ephesians 5:31-32, NIV)

Temporal, earthly marriage between a man and a woman exists to make a point about the eternal marriage between Christ and his holy people. This is first seen in the Old Testament, where God describes himself as the Husband of the nation of Israel (Eze. 16, 23; Isa. 54:5, 62:5; Jer. 2-3, 31:32; Hosea 2:1-20).

The powerful, emotional, and at times shocking, imagery and language of sexual intimacy and sexual sin serves to help us understand our relationship with God better. God uses sexual language positively to express the ecstatic intimacies of union with God (e.g. Hosea 2:20), as well as negatively to shock us into sorrow and repentance. What is God's purpose in the following base animal imagery of Jeremiah, but to disgust the hearer and cause him feel rotten about his sin?

How can you say, 'I am not unclean, I have not gone after the Baals'?
Look at your way in the valley; know what you have done— a restless young camel running here and there, a wild donkey used to the wilderness, in her heat sniffing the wind! Who can restrain her lust? None who seek her need weary themselves; in her month they will find her. Keep your feet from going unshod and your throat from thirst. But you said, 'It is hopeless, for I have loved foreigners, and after them I will go.'
Jeremiah 2:23-25

By outlining these 2 aspects of the Bible's sexual language we see that God has purpose in BOTH good marriages and bad marriages. (Of course, there is no such thing as a perfectly good earthly marriage, and therefore all human marriages are to some extent bad - but more on that later)

In good marriages, God's wisdom and glory are shown in the Christ-like, covenant-keeping, sanctifying love of the husband and the honour-giving, eager, church-like submission and respect of the wife.

In bad marriages, the sinfulness of husbands and wives serve as an illustration and experience of the stupidity and horror of covenant-breaking sin against God.

To put it more accurately, the extent to which a marriage is good displays positively the glory of the covenant-faithfulness-displaying marriage of Christ and his people, while the extent to which a marriage is bad displays the covenant-breaking sinfulness of godless people who don't trust in and cleave to God as they should.

J-O-Y 2

2007-11-30T14:01:00.000+11:00

Investigating the JOY acronym, I came across a website where the author tells the story of his elementary school teacher teaching his class the JOY acronym. We can see that the power of the acronym is in its simplicity - he'll never forget what his teacher told him:

She would put the words JESUS, OTHERS, YOU. Then she would say that this should be the order of our love. We should love Jesus first, love others second, and love ourselves last. Then she would take the first letter of each word and spell J-O-Y, and tell us that true joy is always putting Jesus first, others second and ourselves last. I never forgot that simple lesson.

But I must emphaize that you won't find this taught in the public schools today. In fact, you probably won't find this taught in most Christian schools either. In fact, you won't find this taught in most Bible believing churches, because the majority of evangelical churches today have accepted the world's teaching on psychology and have adapted it to their doctrines. The world's psychology is the teaching of human self-esteem, which has its source from humanism, and humanism is purely evil originating from Satan.

I share the author's concern to want to guard against a God-less ethic of self-esteem which stems from humanism. But what do we mean by humanism, exactly? Something I will endeavour to research. Perhaps the topic of a later blog.

The fascinating world of communication

2007-11-30T13:59:00.000+11:00

Today I learnt that as much as 90% of communication is non-verbal. I knew it was a significant part of communicating, but had never guessed it could be this high. It makes me think twice about where I will put my arms, how I'll stand, or where to look the next time I have a conversation!

I learnt this in the chapter on communication in the CAE textbook I'm teaching from at the moment. This is one of the many benefits of teaching English in an EFL (English as a Foreign Language) college. Almost every day I am intrigued by the facts of life and the world around us. In fact, today we also learnt that the Vervet Monkey can listen in to the calls of starlings to alert them to approaching danger, and that the North American Prairie Dog has such a highly developed language that they can express when someone is approaching, and whether or not that person is carrying a gun!

J-O-Y 1

2007-11-30T13:56:00.000+11:00

I've been reflecting recently on the statement that JOY is about putting:

Jesus first;
Others second; and
Yourself last

I can see the value in this acronym, amongst children especially, and appreciate that it would be useful in combatting the come-to-serve-yourself attitude which tempts us all. Christ is to be central. We are to be last. It is clever and catchy and its simplicity makes it effective and memorable.

However, such simplicity can be dangerous as it can be easily misinterpreted and thus distort Biblical truth. Unfortunately, all things simplistic pose this problem. Sometimes the risk is worth it. At other times it is better to not run such a risk at all.

In this blog I'd like to share in what ways I believe this acronym runs a risk of misinterpretation. I plan to outline just how much is at stake in such a statement. I'll put forward why I believe that "to put Jesus first means that you must put yourself last" could imply a false dichotomy.

Now, there are Bible passages which, on face value, appear to teach us that we must put Jesus first and ourselves last. Most famous are the self-denial verses of the Gospels: Mt 16:24, Mk 8:34 and Lk 9:23. Read in isolation, these verses might provide good support to the J-O-Y acronym, as they seem to be encouraging us to simply abandon any response to our own desires, in preference for whatever Jesus would have us do for him.

The weight of Jesus' teaching here is massive: give up our lives (totally) to follow him (with all our heart, mind and strength). "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor... then come, follow me." (Mark 10:21, NIV) "Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me." (Matthew 10:38, NIV), and much more.

It would be easy to hear these words as a simple formula.

But is the teaching of Jesus as neat and simple as: "Get your priorities right: me first, you last. Give up being self-concerned. Stop making your decisions based on whether or not it's good for you. The problem is that you're too selfish!"?

My answer is "Yes! It's about putting Jesus first. We are too selfish! Give up the charade and hand our lives over to Jesus!" But my answer is also "No, it's not that simplistic. Surely our motives matter? God wants us to come to him with more in our hearts than a mere blind duty, doesn't he?"

Perhaps not everyone has interpreted Jesus' words the way I have. Perhaps I'm making a point that doesn't need to be made. But I realise how easy it is to take verses out of context and to over-simplify rather than to clarify and sharpen the plain teaching of the Bible. Indeed, what we will notice, if we read the proceeding verses of any of the passages I referred to above, is the surprising logic that Jesus uses to get us to put him first.

In these passages, Jesus doesn't condemn his disciples for being too concerned about themselves. Rather, he uses that very desire for self-preservation and self-concern to motivate them to deny themselves and to follow him.

Simply put, Jesus wants us to know that it's going to be far better for us to deny ourselves, die to ourselves and live for him, than to continue in a life of small-minded worldliness:

If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mark 8:34-37 (NIV)

Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.
Mark 10:21 (NIV)

Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
Matthew 10:38-39 (NIV)

The logic of Jesus argument seems to be this:
to rightly follow Jesus, you must respond to your personal desire for the long-term good of your soul.

Do you want to want to retain your soul?
Do you want treasure in heaven?
Do you want to find your life?

Seekers of Jesus are NOT those who have no interest in their own good or joy, but rather, those who desire to gain the life which will endure and not be lost forever. Jesus is not teaching us to be ultimately self-less in following him, but instead, ultimately self-loving. This is made explicit in John's gospel, where Jesus distinguishes between life in this world and life in eternity: "Anyone who loves his life will lose it. But anyone who hates his life in this world will keep it and have eternal life." John 12:25 (NIV)

Therefore, the self-denial that Jesus speaks of is not permanent or long-term self-denial. It is not a self-denial in which we have to give up something good and get something worse in return. To lose your life in this world in order to gain it forever is only gain! Therefore, we can conclude that the self-denial Jesus has in mind is about re-positioning the place and the timing of our good: instead of living for the immediate, short-term pleasures of this world, the Christian will embrace these promises of Jesus by putting Jesus first now and gaining life with him forever in the age to come. Not only is the life offered by Jesus quantitatively greater (it's eternal!), but it's also qualitatively far superior.

So, do we put Jesus first? Absolutely. And in doing so you will be doing the best thing for yourself too.

My typing style

2007-11-30T13:55:00.002+11:00

As a blogger, I will endeavour to use correct grammar and punctuation, capitalisation where appropriate, and consistent standard British English spelling, rather than whatever comes into my mind at the time. I realise this may seem a little fussy, but i find it quite painful to observe the widespread carelessness of incorrect spelling, grammar and punctuation. This is especially frustrating in cases where it obscures the meaning of the sentence such that the opposite of what is intended is expressed! (But I do happen to be an English grammar teacher after all)

Why I am blogging

2007-11-30T13:55:00.001+11:00

My intention is to use this blog as a means of personal reflection. It will be first of all a long-term, easily-accessible resource for myself to write, read and ponder. Secondly, it will be available for anyone who might be interested in reading it (very few, I imagine). But it seems to me a valuable process: to vomit up my thoughts at a given moment, so as to be able to come back and re-visit them and see where I've come from and where I'm going. In recent months and years I've realised my memory has significant gaps, and I'm unable to retain the exact thoughts and information I used to assume I'd always remember. But then there are some things better left forgotten.

I enter the world of blogging

2007-11-30T13:54:00.000+11:00

I thought the day would never come. But here I am at my first blog. I won't go on about it, because it's not all that exciting. I'm a few years behind by several years, but it's better late than never, as they say...